Ikuhara's Episode Commentary: 32: "The Romance of the Dancing Girls"
As a child, I tried to run away from home several times. Usually it was for trivial reasons, like my parents throwing away a manga I loved or a plastic model. I wanted a place to belong. And I believed that place was “somewhere else.”
Everyone needs to hear someone say, “Nobody else will do. It has to be you,” sometime in their lives, even if it only happens once. Just once is enough. As long as you can feel sure those words were sincere, you can live through anything, no matter how painful.
i think one of the most heartbreaking processes in rgu is the one by which akio draws utena in by making her think he will accept her the way she comfortably is, but ultimately, like so much of the society around her, seeks to conform her too. her parents died when she was very young, so she doesn’t have that purportedly ‘unconditional’ familial love, & she’s always longed for family - so he tells her he thinks of her as part of her family. when the teacher reprimands utena for her ‘boyish’ outfit choice akio comes to the ‘rescue’ and tells her he admires her presentation. he sees the loneliness and vulnerability, this private ache to be loved and accepted. but over time his becomes more and more conditional - she’s sent earrings, and despite her stated disinterest in that kind of thing, she’s told they were sent by him, so she wears them. he praises her if she dresses or presents “correctly” girlishly. & in response to these cues she starts dressing and acting more to conform, though it leaves her confused and upset
utenas anthy-assigned fursona is a kitten… probably anthy was just being funny and taking advantage of utenas silliness a little, but a lot of anthys ‘jokes’ are symbolically meaningful. nanami killed a kitten when she was younger because it took her brother’s attention away from her - now utena is a factor of attention diversion, as nanami sees it. she’ll pull out a knife and keep attacking utena after she loses the duel later this episode. utenas this poor, endearing, helpless thing caught up in a system beyond her comprehension – the kitten is killed because of its unconscious, unintentional participation in affairs its not even aware of, in this nanami duel & in a broader sense
i always think about this scene but it is so funny how utena was having a crisis over touga saving her life and sitting in the corner in the darkness disconsolate about it and anthy was just like Whatever. Start meowing
Honestly I think the fake Mamiya persona that Anthy took on, though not the “real” Mamiya at all, was a “real” part of Anthy—as real as a performance can be, at least. Anthy’s just as gender nonconforming as Utena, but it gets overlooked because Mamiya-Anthy was a false persona…but girl-Anthy is a false persona too, that’s the thing. Boy-Anthy (Mamiya) is as illusory and as authentic as Girl-Anthy (Himemiya, the rose bride) because neither gendered role is actually natural, both are performative and theyre two sides of a trauma response coin
@dykespiegel
